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Satan and the Banker The CEO of a large American bank was sitting at his desk one day trying to figure out new and innovative ways to increase the fees and penalties on his customers. Suddenly and without fanfare, Satan himself walked into the banker's office. "My good man," said Satan, "I think I may have a deal you will like." "Really?" replied the banker. "I'm all ears." "I can help you institute policies at this bank that will increase the fees and penalties on your customers by five-hundred percent," said Satan. "Ohhh, I like that!" said the banker, drooling. "And we'll do it in a way so cunning that your poor, stupid customers won't even know they're being ripped off. All I require in return are the eternal souls of your mother, your wife, your children and grandchildren." The banker smiled broadly, thought for a moment and said, "C'mon, what's the catch?" Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who make the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.' The second, from Chicago, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.' The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order'. The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.' But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the mouth and rectum are interchangeable.' |